I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
