I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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