Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
