just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hippo gnu deer
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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