'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
