my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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