No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
ok first of all what the fuck
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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