thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize