Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
