so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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