why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
