Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Ladies don't puke and tell
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
