You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize