your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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