you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
