3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
