bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
