I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
