i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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