i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Quick, to the slutcave!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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