just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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