sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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