i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
