She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
