She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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