his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
