Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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