I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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