Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize