I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
