im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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