There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize