Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
