OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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