Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
