yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
