i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
