The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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