He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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