Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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