So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
