So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
