i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Vodka?
Forever.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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