That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
