I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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