I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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