Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
