dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So much Jack, so little girl.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
