brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
