White coat. Heels.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
