Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
