i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
do herpes really smell.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
