I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
