please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
