You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
