I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
