Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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