Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
