I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
