I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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