Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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