So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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