it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
