I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
vagina is talking i cant
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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