Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
