whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
