can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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