She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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