Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
