we have officially lost it.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
