He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize