I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
