i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
