Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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