are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
