just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
