Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
